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There is no such thing as global warming, or carbon dioxide emissions. And if they do exist, it's certainly not the job of the Bush administration to do anything about it. Those environmentalist troublemakers may come up with statistics--such as that the US, with less than 5 per cent of the world's population, produces 23 per cent of its C[O.sub.2]--but there's no proof for any of this, so Dubbya and his cronies can safely relax and ignore all these supposed problems (which are subjects, after all, for losers like Al Gore).

I believe there are two reasons why this is, in essence, the approach of Dubbya and his cronies to the environmental issues of the day. The first is that moves to cut down carbon dioxide emissions would cost …