Virginia Asks

Article excerpt

Byline: VIRGINIA IRONSIDE

SHOULD YOU HAVE A BABY ON YOUR OWN?

GOOD mothers want to give their children everything they possibly can. But good parenting starts long before the baby is born, indeed, long before it's even conceived - because first you have to find a partner who'll be a reliable provider and a kind, loving and caring father.

Well, that's what I think. But there are some women who think men are just there as sperm-providers. They want to get pregnant at all costs, and they go ahead with no thought of giving the father a look-in.

I'm not talking about women who split up with men when their children are young, because at least they started out with the right intentions. I'm not even talking about girls who get pregnant by accident and decide to keep the baby. I'm talking about those single women who, aged around 35, find their body clocks are ticking too loudly and just go out, pick a suitable bloke and get pregnant, without telling him and with no intention of letting him have any parental role.

A man in the U.S. is suing his girlfriend for stealing his sperm to get herself pregnant, which sounds crackers since he should take responsibility for his own sperm. But if a woman lies to a man, saying she's using precautions when in fact she's out to get pregnant, then I don't think she's just betraying the man; she's betraying her child, too.

A child who's brought into the world without a father is losing so much more than a dad. He's losing half his relatives and, more importantly, all the love and security they have to offer him. He's made up of two sets of genes, but, without a father, one half of his genes are simply never addressed. …