Diary: My Ex-Mother-in-Law Came Round and Tried to Shoot Me and Then Threw Herself under a Train. in between the Gun and the Railway Line She Knitted Her Grandson a Vest

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I recently decided that it would be best to take out my young grandchildren separately so as not to spend most of the time pulling them down from railings and suchlike. The little girls being away, I spent three mornings with three boys.

The eldest, aged ten, took me by Tube to London Bridge and the Old Operating Theatre. It's up a very steep spiral staircase in St Thomas's Church, and there are a lot of dead plants and spidery herbs coiling round exhibits and rafters. We liked the operating table best, for it shows the marks of the saw used for amputations, and, though its surface is well scrubbed, the white surgical aprons hanging nearby are satisfactorily bloody.

Second outing was dedicated to the four-year-old and a visit to the zoo. Do you know that …