By Lingeman, Richard
The Nation , Vol. 279, No. 7
THE GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY, INC. AN EXTRAORDINARY OPPORTUNITY TO INVEST IN THE NATION'S HISTORY AND THE PRESIDENCY OF GEORGE W. BUSH
A public offering of shares in THE GEORGE W. BUSH PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY, INC, a Liberian Corporation, will take place in November 2004. Shares may be purchased from exclusive brokers in million-dollar lots.
The Library, located on Shelter Island, Tricky Cayman, Bahamas, is a new concept in presidential repositories. In addition to housing the state papers of President George W. Bush, it will be a private resort facility. Investors will be able to purchase property on a secure, discreet tax haven with privileged access to luxury recreational and living facilities. This investment presents not only superb amenities but also an opportunity to discharge your debt to George W. Bush for the handsome returns provided by his administration.
The Bush Archives will be housed in an architecturally distinguished building specially designed by Root, Hogg, & Lay, by appointment to the Saudi Royal Family. The firm's recent commissions include the L. Paul Bremer III Bunker in Baghdad, the Royal Police Interrogation Center in Riyadh and the Hamid Karzai International Parking Lot in Kabul. Visitors enter through the imposing three-foot-thick Rumsfeld Memorial Bronze Doors, inlaid with scenes of George W. Bush's Ten Most Statesmanlike Moments. Once inside, visitors are escorted to the John Ashcroft Lounge for interrogation and full orifice search. After screening they may proceed to the Great Hall, where two large dioramas are displayed: "Mission Accomplished: George W. Bush Bringing Democracy to a Grateful Iraqi People" and "Mission Accomplished: George W. Bush Bringing Tax Relief to Grateful Billionaires." In the rear will be the Wall of Fame, on which are prominently displayed the names or corporate logos of $5 million donors to the Library.
After climbing the sweeping marble staircase, the visitor enters Energy Hall (a gift of the Exxon-Mobil Foundation). In this vast room will be exhibited memorabilia central to the career of George W. Bush, such as the bottle of Jack Daniel's from which Mr. Bush had his last drink; the copy of "The Pet Goat" the President was reading to schoolchildren when notified of the attack on the World Trade Center with annotations on how to pronounce certain words; the Nautilus machine on which Mr. Bush had daily workouts during the run-up to the Iraq war.
Next stop is the Higher Father Chapel. Note the stained-glass windows depicting The Passion of the Christ: The Movie (a gift of Mel Gibson). Behind the bullet-proof glass door is the Presidential Archive, housing personal state papers ([C] 2004 George W. …