Byline: John McKie
AFTER the last umpteen days of 'Live8 this' and 'white band that', you've probably had one over the G8 and would happily make Make Poverty History history. So instead, here's your cut out and keep guide of suggestions for things which are better than going to today's Make Poverty History rally, watching Live8 or going to the Murrayfield gig.
1Watch Animals Do The Funniest Things on ITV instead of Live8. It's animals. Doing funny things. And . . . tonight's is apparently a Christmas special. (Eh?) 2See how many Hula Hoops you can balance on your elbow.
3Go to Ikea or Makro in Edinburgh this afternoon and see if any political activists have gone to the wrong place by accident.
4Listen to the women's tennis final at Wimbledon on the radio and see if you hear the commentary above the grunts5Nip to the bookies and put a bet on how far into the season it will be before Jim McLean loses confidence in Gordon Chisholm as Dundee United manager.
6Make your own ID card with some sticky-backed plastic, egg cartons and a passport photo. At least it won't cost you pounds 93.
7Join the search in London for Liz Hurley's missing labrador, which had disappeared at time of going to press. …