Byline: Jeff Vrabel
At this point, making fun of Kevin Federline's single is just piling on, and sort of uncomfortably so. It's like shooting the proverbial fish in the barrel, if the fish was blind, handcuffed and asleep and you were shooting at him with all of the guns available on any given evening in Detroit.
But it's a slow week. Lock and load.
Released at midnight on New Year's Eve, Federline's PopoZao is blazing through the blogosphere with the liveliness generally reserved for just two things. 1. Naked pictures of famous people, and 2. Songs that exist in a singular plane of abject sonic horror accessible only to husbands of famous people, William Hung and very elderly dogs. Guess which one PopoZao is.
The track, which is readily available on Internet sites both legal and not, is a Brazilian-tinged take on the subject matter covered by Baby Got Back. It opens with the apparent sounds of a large family of rhesus monkeys being freed from a zoo enclosure and then begins to get unpleasant. (But don't take it from me: Entertainment Weekly, in assigning it a very bold F, said it was worse than expected. Billboard dubbed it "a monument to mediocrity." And music blog StereoGum reports with palpable surprise that "Never has a song inspired such ridicule so quickly!")
Luckily for Federline, a backup dancer and the husband of previously famous reality show contestant Britney Spears, he finds himself unmoved by the mortifying response.
"I believe that no matter what, if it's real and people feel it, it doesn't matter," Federline told MTV. "This is my emotion, this is everything, the past two years where I haven't said anything or came out and talked to anybody, I held it all in here so I can do this." As indicated by PopoZao, those 2-year-old emotions pretty much begin and end with, "Bring that Brazil booty on the flo'." And, of course, the monkey noises.
The problem with the response, Federline might argue, is that it comes from those who have been dubbed "haters." The hater is a relatively new evolutionary development in musical biology. …