Back to the Nursery No 3932

Article excerpt

Set by Didier d'Argent

What happened to characters such as Jack and Jill or Georgie Porgie, once the nursery or nonsense rhymes finished? We asked you for those "missing verses"

Report by Ms de Meaner

As you can see, it's redesign week. You must all be thrilled at appearing on such a good-looking page. Welcome to: Carol Foster, Douglas Vaisey, Laura Benson, Emily Barnett, Emma Hopkins, John Barham, Stephen Dudzik and Christopher Kerr. [pounds sterling]20 each to the winners, the best of whom (Mr Kerr) also gets the Tesco vouchers.

Star getting bigger
Twinkle twinkle, little star
Brighter now I think you are
A billion billion miles away
Will you visit us one day?

Twinkle twinkle, bigger star
You are larger now by far
Hurtling through the heavenly gloom
Will you miss or bring our doom?

Twinkle twinkle, massive star
Moving faster than a car
Impact in one year, they say,
Then you'll blow us all away.
Stephen Bibby

Miss Muffet seeks therapy
So she went to her shrink,
Saying: "Shrink, do you think
I can keep my neurosis at bay?"
He replied: "I can probe your
"Irrational phobia."
And in less than an hour, she's OK.

Poor Little Miss Muffet
Proceeded to snuff it
When, back at the tuffet next day,
Our brave little kiddo
Went and stroked a black widow.
As she died, cried Miss Muffet, "Touche."
David Silverman

John "Froggie" Prescott
A Frog he would a-wooing go,
  Heigh-ho, says Tracey,
Whether his office would let him or no,
With a jiggery, Jaggery, fondle and grapple,
  Heigh-ho, says racy Tracey! …