Byline: CAROLE CAPLIN
Q Since quitting smoking two years ago I have put on three stone.
Friends tell me that weight gain is to be expected but I am desperate to lose it. I have taken up exercise and changed my diet but I'm binge-eating, albeit on healthy foods. At least once or twice a week, I can't stop eating. I can see what I'm doing and hate it but can't stop. I have not started making myself sick afterwards but fear that this will be next. I'm 40. Please can you help?
A You are 'fixing' on food, using it to alter the way you feel. What you describe is compulsive behaviour and impossible to avoid through willpower alone. Binge-eating reflects underlying unhappiness. You are replacing one destructive behaviour (smoking) with another ( bingeeating). Controlling this is desirable but I suspect little will be achieved unless other unresolved issues are addressed. For one-to-one work, cognitive therapy can be effective (babcp.org.uk). Contact people with similar issues through Overeaters Anonymous (oagb.org.uk).
Ten years ago I had an industrial accident and I've been confined to a wheelchair ever since. My wife is having an affair with one of my best friends, which they believe I'm unaware of. I am unable to have a normal sexual relationship, so have allowed the affair to continue even though it is breaking my heart. I feel totally useless and I think she would be better off without me.
I can't provide for her, either physically or financially, so what good am I to her?
A Understandably, your situation has not only had a crushing effect on your self-confidence but has also distorted your perspective.
No matter how hard it …