You're Having a Laugh: Win or Lose, the England Team Never Fail to Make Us Chuckle, Writes Hunter Davies

Beginning of article

Reasons to be cheerful A:

Assuming England are not going to the Euro finals.

* At long bloody last, we won't have to put up with those stupid Wags next summer, poncing and posing about.

* And phew, a chance for a proper summer hol without irritation, aggravation and humiliation.

* Goodbye to Becks, and about time, too. And take Posh with you.

* And Michael Owen. You can stay in bed from now on, Wee Micky, nursing whatever's your latest injury. Ditto to Wayne.

* And up your bum, Steve. What a relief to see the back of him.

* Let's bring back the home internationals. They should never have been stopped. England will now …