I Don't Know How I Do It

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Byline: Lorraine Candy

THE Candy spreadsheet of doom made an unwelcome reappearance this week. I knew it would after I'd watched the Chancellor's Autumn Statement (not to be confused with the BBC's Autumn Watch, which is much more uplifting but also involves squirrelling things away).

'Here we go,' I thought. Now George has put the kibosh on Christmas, my husband will be printing out his gloomy Incoming Versus Outgoing chart faster than you can say: 'Mince pie for breakfast? Don't mind if I do'.

For just as I know Mr C will start muttering 'just put another jumper on' when temperatures drop, I can also predict he'll produce this numerical nightmare for us …