Q: My husband was made redundant just after Christmas and is yet to find a job.
We were very good friends with his boss and her husband but since this happened, my husband has been too hurt to see them. The ban has been extended to me but I'm really missing their company. I'd like to re-establish contact but don't want to be disloyal. What should I do?
A: You certainly can't ignore your husband's wishes. If you went behind his back and made personal contact with his ex-boss and family, he would be bound to know. And that would simply compound his sense of hurt and betrayal, which is already dangerously intense. But I believe you should nonetheless work towards re-establishing contact - and not just because you've been missing their company.
It's getting on for three months since your husband was made redundant His immediate feelings may easily be imagined and are utterly understandable. But if he continues to harbour those feelings and lets them burn away inside him, he'll seriously jeopardise his chances of enjoying a complete recovery of confidence and landing another satisfying job. …