Watch Your Language, the Grammar Police Are about; Dawn COLLINSON Sassy. Sexy. Sophisticated. She Knows Loads of Words Beginning with 'S.'

Article excerpt

Byline: Dawn COLLINSON

IT takes quite a lot to rile husband. I know this thanks to years of exhaustive research, also known as goading.

He is, by nature, imperturbable.

Unless, that is, he is confronted by the one thing he detests ... bad grammar.

The incorrect positioning of a capital letter or misuse of were, where or we're can make him uncharacteristically irate.

I can hear him muttering darkly under his breath on the sofa, cursing the decline of the nation's standards.

He sees it everywhere: newspapers, magazines, on TV, walking down the street. Even texts from school aren't immune. It's the peril of being a journalist; never off duty, like doctors only with less obviously admirable purpose.

Only the other day he informed me that he'd fired off an angry email to a tabloid website complaining about their inappropriate capitalisation of the word 'earth'. "They meant the ground, not the planet," he explained in disgust.

Thank God he doesn't have access to Facebook, where the possibilities for grammatical superiority are endless. Even I, who am far more relaxed on the subject, feel an urge to comment under misspelt status updates. …