Byline: Marina Abramovic
On her ill-fated attempt to look like Brigitte Bardot.
When I was 14, I thought I looked terrible. I wore these typical Slavic shoes with metal bottoms so you could always hear me coming and this really ugly princess skirt and blouse with the top button closed. I had a boy haircut, a baby face covered with pimples, and a really big nose. My only dream in life at the time was to have Brigitte Bardot's nose.
I would go through all the newspapers and cut out every single photograph of her. I would show them to my mother and beg her to let a surgeon fix mine, and every time she would slap me and say, "Appreciate your nose." But I was the black sheep; every time she slapped me I only wanted to rebel more. So I devised this perfect plan. My parents had a big matrimonial bed with sharp edges, and the idea was to spin around on the bed as fast as I could with the Brigitte Bardot photographs in my pockets. Then I would fall on the edge of the bed, break my nose, and when I arrived at the hospital they would see the Bardot photographs and fix my nose to look like hers. Easy.
So one Sunday morning, I spun around in circles on the bed. I fell, but of course I didn't bang my nose on the sharp edge--I just cut my face. My mother heard this terrible crash and came into her room to find me lying on the floor with the photographs scattered all around me. She slapped my face, and that was it.
I failed to break my nose, but later realized it was the best thing that ever happened to me. A Brigitte Bardot nose would look ridiculous on me; my nose fits my face very well as it is. The whole thing was also a kind of childhood performance, and going through such a tremendous amount of pain to …