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Some modern fashions should come complete with a user's guide. A handbook to help you interpret whether the new pedal pushers (now called clam diggers) are wit or wanton and whether they should ever be braved in the boardroom would be a help. So often th ey are designed for women who have PHDs in leisure time and Liam Gallagher as a boyfriend, who trip the light fantastic in butterfly embroidered platforms from limousine to launch party with their feet never touching the ground.

You like the look but don't know how, when or if you have the nerve to wear it. And what if you got it wrong and wore the new marabou-trim bra with the librarian-esque A-line, pleated skirt? Or mixed …