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Beginning of article

Bad news or, depending on your viewpoint, good news.

As if being referred to as Oldies, Wrinklies or even, most cruelly, Coffin Dodgers - was not bad enough, the over-fifties have now attracted the attention of the direct mail industry.

This only grabbed my attention because I am only five years away from joining them.

Albeit that I never actually grew up, and have an emotional age of about eight, my body keeps reminding me that time marches irresistably on.

So I only have five years to take the mick out of Wrinklies like John James and Neil Pountney before I, too, get it in the neck.

And given this has been Budget week and everyone is …