The A-Gay Getaway; Travel: Here's the Guide Wannabe Gays Have Been Waiting for. Nick Redman Hits the G Spots

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Byline: NICK REDMAN

THE seven ages of gay man: you've come out, gone out, copped off, sworn off, hooked up, grown up and settled down together, just like Elt and David.

Suddenly this summer, you two are So Over Sitges. Nor do the plastic loungers of Gran Canaria now tally with his Mercedes SL, your Reiki habit, or the joint mortgage on that plate-glass nest overlooking Big Ben - you're A-gays.

Prerequisites of the A-gay holiday are: a resort done with dark wood and a dearth of florals that'll happily take the pair of you - after all, it takes two to ashtanga. A spa au fait with guybrows and heflexology. Boutiques of emergency Cartier and CK smalls. A pool fit for the remake of Neptune's Daughter.

A voddy-beautiful bar scene, and a Pilates/t'ai chi programme that'll keep love handles rarer than the hotel's bluefin tuna ...

St Barths: sun, sea, sand and Chanel reassuringly expensive, too, for Mr and Mr Company Buyout with Amex to flex (grab beach basics in Gustavia, barnacled with Versace/Kenzo boutiques). A-gays hole up at Le Toiny, a dozen villas in a chicly chintzy vein - pricey but nice..

Mauritius: with Dolce and Gabbana among the recent check-ins, A-gay magnet is glam dame Saint Geran. How could it fail, with a Matt Roberts gym, Givenchy spa offering four-hands massages, and Spoon restaurant for figure-obsessed foodies? Pool your bonuses for the Saint Geran Villa, with personal waiter/ chef/butler: [pound]2,900 a night through Quintessentially (020 7908 7270).

Cape Cod: hit Provincetown an upbeat, downplayed colony, less queenysceney, more-Sapphic-centric than Fire Island. That s its appeal for A-gays who prefer cocoa to coke, and rent a cottage on the shore, hitting town should the party mood strike.

Turks and Caicos: homosexuality may be outlawed, but it hasn t kept A-gays from Parrot Cay: 60 muslin-draped, lean, clean suites by Keith Hobbs of Vong-interiors fame. …