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REMEMBER John Cleese's famous broadside against the then TV new boy Gerry Robinson for being an "upstart caterer"? Well, insiders are bracing themselves for similar jibes if, as is looking increasingly possible, ex-BAA chief Mike Clasper gets to succeed Charles Allen at ITV. Clasper's background is causing tremors. Before BAA, he worked at Procter Gamble and British Rail - hardly the sort of CV many feel ITV needs. Not only that, but BAA's response to the recent terror threat was woeful. The whole point of Allen going was that he lacked the creative nous to produce decent programmes.If Clasper receives the nod, get ready for Allen Mark 2 - and a whole new bunch of creative insults.

FORMER Formula 1 team owner Eddie Jordan, pictured, and City grandee Derek Tullett doubtless know what they're doing on the board of soon-tobefloated gambling group Betbrokers, and are aware that the last stock market project of chief executive Wayne Lochner, Affinity Internet Holdings, ended in administration in 2003 HOMEOWNERS, don't lose sleep over stories suggesting the International Monetary Fund thinks house prices are about to collapse. The record shows the IMF has warned every year since 2002 that rising house prices threaten the UK economy in some way - and during that time the price of the average UK house has risen by about 50%.

CITY SPY much enjoyed the Alex cartoon in yesterday's Daily Telegraph, all about a corporate relocation move and executives firing people so they can have bigger offices ALL that time with Jane Fonda, pictured, must have got to Ted Turner. …