Tug of War Intensifies on Gay-Marriage Issue ; Even as Bans and Limits on Same-Sex Unions Spread, Some States Edge toward Civil Unions and Antidiscrimination Laws

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When the Oregon Supreme Court recently ruled that county officials could not decide on their own to legalize same-sex marriages, Tom Potter said he was "especially saddened" for his daughter Katie, her partner Pam Moen, and their two little girls. "Now, I wonder, who will protect Katie and her family?" he asked.

It was a personal lament, putting faces and hearts to a controversial issue. But it also had very clear public and highly political overtones. Mr. Potter is the mayor of Portland, Ore., and the city's former police chief. Ms. Potter and Ms. Moen are both police officers, and they were among the nearly 3,000 gay Oregon couples whose marriages had just been declared …