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Yesterday I brought you extracts from an amazing High Court case in which the judge, both counsel and the defendant are ALL masons. Not only that, but the defendant, who is charged with attempted murder, is a real mason, ie a stonemason. My local Masonic Lodge has implored me not to reveal any more secrets of the Grand Order, but their bribe was not nearly large enough to tempt me, so I am bringing you more of this sensational case today.

Judge: Just a moment, just a moment, Mr Minghella. Are you trying to say that you are a proper mason and we are not?

Defendant: I certainly am. You call yourselves Masons. I am a mason. Take the Elks and Buffaloes. The Elks and …