A-Levels Are for Snobs. Try Our Dimbo-Friendly Alternative A Modern, Relevant System to Incentivise Full Participation in a Multi-Ability Society

Article excerpt

HEAD FACILITATORS! Has your school been forced down the A-level league table yet again this year? Were your results once more distorted by the elitist and discriminatory examining practices of the so-called educational system? After students have been crammed for exams, laboratory scans have shown that their brains are as bloated and discoloured as the livers of force-fed geese. We don't impose our Western attitudes on Africa any more, so why do we treat our own children like that?

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ENGLISH LITERATURE

Answer all questions.

l When you made a comparative study of the three videos of Macbeth, how much shorter do you think a qualified film editor could have made them?

l It is now generally accepted that Beowulf is the sexist creation of an inadequate fantasist. In how many ways do you see attitudes like his affecting women in television (with special reference to Australian soap opera) today?

(This paper carries a partial credit for maths.)

PHYSICS

Answer one question only.

Either: What expression is given for the main energy of monatomic ideal gas molecules of mass m at a thermodynamic temperature T?

Or: The mechanics of atomic fission have been covered in detail in your coursework. This knowledge is sufficient to construct a small explosive nuclear device. You wouldn't do anything like that, would you?

ITALIAN

Answer one question only.

Either: Leggete l'articolo e decidete se queste frasi sono vere o false:

a) A St Moritz e vietato l'accesso alle macchine

b) Una camera singola all'ostello "Stille" costa 13 franchini.

c) Il prezzo indicato per l'ostello "Stille" comprende tutti i pasti.

Or: Pizza with too much of that round, stinky meat really sucks. …