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Bill Condon has just won an Oscar for his adapted screenplay of Gods and Monsters, the fictionalised biopic of James Whale, a homosexual British director who moved to Hollywood in the 1930s. Those of you who watched the whole ceremony may remember him. He was the little man who almost-but-not-quite made the scathing speech about Hollywood's homophobia (the one that Ian McKellen promised he'd make if he won the Oscar for Best Actor). Having talked to Condon just a week before, I'd hoped for more. Much more.

People expect Condon to be English. He's not. They also expect him to be witty. He is. "Don't be afraid if you hear some odd noises," he warns me. "I might start …