Anxiety Trigger No 2: Good Boy, Go and Boil Your Head ; THE FRIARY NEWSLETTER

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This week: Graham Tosterone, the Friary's special consultant for Very Confused Sportsmen, writes

Hi there, sports fans. Those of you who haven't visited the Lillywhites special unit on the fourth floor are in for a treat. As you know, we get a lot of patients in here from the world of football, cricket and related activities, many of them temporarily in the thrall of narcotics, alcohol or reporters from the News of the World. We have facilities to treat all manner of sporting hero afflictions, including the awful Multiple Addiction Syndrome, whose sufferers experience feelings of disorientation because they were too drunk the night before to remember at which gambling …