No greater love has any man than to give up his seat for his party. Though it's different when there is a peerage on offer in exchange, and the way some of our "honourable" friends sold their souls last week caused outrage among even my most time-hardened colleagues on the Labour backbench.
Not that it matters to my voters. They are interested only in the bread- and-butter issues - health, schools, pensions, jobs - which is what I shall give them. I think I'd better not say too much about public transport.
All Labour MPs have been asked by Millbank to play the numbingly boring theme tune, "Lifted", over the loudspeakers when we go canvassing. We have also been asked to tape a personal message to our voters from a pasteurised list supplied by the party headquarters. So my voters will be treated to my voice in the middle of the pop song saying "Say No to Tory boom and bust". I was tempted to add "Tony walks on water", but we were firmly told that we could not record our own message.
I've not met my Tory opponent yet. Apparently he is a chinless wonder, being blooded in a no-hope Labour stronghold. He may one day finish up leading the party - just so long as it's not in the next four weeks. …