PUPIL: I'm a bit hazy about the Trinity, sir.
SCHOOLMASTER: Three in one, one in three, perfectly straightforward. If you have any doubts about that, see your maths teacher.
-Alan Bennett, 7 934-.
Gentlemen, I am a Catholic. If you reject me on account of my religion, I shall thank God that He has spared me the indignity of being your MP.
-Hilaire Belloc: speech to voters, 1906.
If Jesus had been killed 20 years ago, Catholic children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.
-Lenny Bruce, 1925-66.
An atheist is someone who has no invisible means of support.
-John Buchan, 1875-1940.
Thanks to God, I am still an atheist.
-Luis Bunuel, 1900-1983.
Christians have burnt each other, quite persuaded that all the Apostles would have done as they did.
-Lord Byron, 1788-1824.
No matter how I probe and prod
I cannot quite believe in God.
But oh! I hope to God that He
Continues to believe in me.
-E.Y. Marburg, 1898-1981. …