'Soccer Moms' Score Goals for Liberal Team

Article excerpt

Despite a gaggle of abandoned nominees such as Zoe Baird and Lani Guinier, and a top presidential adviser on "family values" canned for an adulterous affair with a prostitute, as well as with the president facing a sexual-harassment lawsuit from Paula Corbin Jones, Bill Clinton's party seems to be doing remarkably well with women.

Part of the credit is being handed to the Democrats' focus on a new category of women, the "Soccer Mom" -- a sly portrayal of Everywoman designed by the now-departed adviser, Dick Morris. This year Everywoman is, instead, supposed to believe that the real problems facing women are those of the Soccer Mom. This year women are supposed to believe that what they really need are "free" college educations and "free" health care for their kiddies.

The trick for the Democrats and the press, of course, its to convince Every woman that she is a Soccer Mom -- because we all know that she isn't. You see, we all know who Soccer Mom really is. And we all know she is as representative of Everywoman as Jesse Jackson is of black America.

Soccer Mom is the quintessential baby boomer. She drives a Volvo or, if she forgot to take her birth-control pill and was gauche enough to have more than one kid, a minivan. Whether minivan or Volvo, though, you can bet she has one bumper sticker tastefully placed somewhere on the rear panel -- a sticker that offers a sensitive, yet politically relevant, statement; something like "Visualize World Peace" or "Save Our Rain Forests." She majored in sociology in college and, after "helping people" at some nonprofit agency for a few years, got married, switched professions and made a killing in advertising.

Her child is the kid who recycles without being told and is so secure in his own self-esteem as to be insolent enough to lecture adults on the evils of tobacco. He's the type of kid who you just know several years from now will be hiding his eyes behind some atrocious mop of a haircut while displaying his underwear over the waistband of his trousers. And all the while, old Soccer Mom will be congratulating herself for raising such a politically correct, multiculturally aware and totally mixed-up kid.

The Soccer Mom is in her element when divorced. But if married, she's the type to stick with her husband even after he's caught frequenting $200-an-hour hookers. Either way, she gets to play the superior "victim" role, so loved by liberals, to the "slimy victimizer" role played by the poor fool dumb enough to have married her.

Frankly, the name says it all: Soccer Mom. Her child doesn't play baseball, or basketball, or real, American-style football. …