Diary of an Estate Agent; Gorgeous Male Models, Revolting Lampshades and Pants in the Hallway Throw Everyone into a Tizzy in Fulham

Article excerpt

MONDAY

I had a call from the owner of a house near South Park, which she wanted valued. She warned me it was being refurbished, so I would be visiting a building site. Luckily, I keep a pair of trainers under the desk for just such situations.

When I arrived, the Polish foreman wouldn't let me in. It took many phone calls in Polish to his boss, and raised voices from the top-floor window, before I could get past him and finally be let in, via a plank over a large hole beside the front door.

I felt I should have been wearing a hard hat, as there were no bannisters on the stairs and wires were hanging out of the walls. I advised the owner against any viewings with prospective tenants until the property was safe..

Tuesday

I came back from an appointment to find the office full of baby buggies. A couple are looking for a property big enough to accommodate them and their triplet daughters.

Meanwhile, a barely suppressed buzz of excitement rose when a drop-dead gorgeous man walked into the office, in search of a flat. There was no shortage of volunteers among the female staff to show him round a few. We discovered later that he is on the books of a top model agency..

Wednesday

The couple with triplets has made an offer on a house in Parsons Green, with a wide hall and a pretty garden. It is perfect for them and their three little girls.

It was then off to an appointment to meet a potential landlord in a riverside flat to advise him what changes should be made before letting it.

He agreed all my suggestions, until we reached the dining room. Suspended from the ceiling was the most extraordinary light fitting, shaped like a bull.

Before I could open my mouth to say this would have to go, he said: "Don't you love it? …