Hey, We've Arrived in Norway! So, Where's Finland?

Article excerpt

I have located Norway. It turns out to be right next to, but different from, Sweden. Also, I'm pretty sure that Finland is around here someplace.

Getting here was not easy. My flight from New York to Oslo sat on the ground at Kennedy airport for 3 1/2 hours while the pilot came up with a series of increasingly lame excuses for the delay: He was waiting for connecting passengers; the dog ate his flight plan; vandals had stolen the landing gear; etc. I believe that the pilot actually was stalling because he didn't know for sure where Norway was.

But eventually they figured it out, and we took off and found Norway, which is a darned good thing because the U.S. bobsled team was on our flight. Most of the team members are large, muscular individuals. You need to be big and strong for this event, because at the beginning of the bobsled run, you have to push the sled hard and get it going very fast, and then, just as the sled starts hurtling down the steep, icy, treacherous track at speeds upward of 80 mph, you have to - in one smooth, fluid motion - let go of the sled and fall down.

At least that's what I would do. The team members, however, actually get INTO the sled, where they are jammed together in a tiny, uncomfortable space, very similar to the seat I occupied during the 247-hour flight from New York to Oslo, except without the beverage-cart service.

Speaking of which, I noted that one of the bobsled team members had several rum drinks. I pointed this out to veteran sportswriter Dave Kindred. …