Husband Leaves under False Pretenses

Article excerpt

Dear Abby: I would be celebrating my 35th wedding anniversary in June, but my husband, Arnold, left me last year.

He retired and wanted an RV so we could travel.

He made up all sorts of lies and sold our home, pretending we would be on the road most of the time. He stuck me in a condo, and pulled money out of our savings and investments. Then he announced he wanted a separation "for a few months."

Just after Labor Day, he took off in the RV with another woman. I had gone to school with "Sheila" 30 years ago, and she always had a terrible reputation. This was not her first trip with male companions. I found out about her after they had gone - but Arnold was unaware that I knew about Sheila.

They toured the Northwest, and he made sure that I got mail from every state. It made me physically ill.

People shunned me, even though the shame was his. Those few who stood by me were extremely supportive, but no one can bear your pain for you - you must bear it alone.

To top it off, Arnold returned four months later with long hair and a handlebar mustache. (Sheila likes long hair and mustaches.) Abby, he had been a teacher who would reprimand students whose hair touched their collars!

I wish you would write something in your column about male menopause. The American family seems to be on the decline - and a lot of it seems to be attributed to male menopause. BETRAYED BUT RECOVERING

You have my sympathy. But your husband may be suffering less from a hormonal imbalance than a character deficiency. And I say it not because he left you, but because of the underhanded way he did it.

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