I stood in a quiet gallery of the Los Angeles County Museum of Art moving forward and back, forward and back, forward and back, mesmerized by the transformation of a mass of dots into the glistening waters of the River Seine in Paul Signac's clear and beautiful rendering of The Seine at Herblay. As the Pointillists discovered, a painter may well be able to reconstruct reality from flecks and dots of information, but it is in standing back from the details and allowing the points to merge into a glistening or flowing or striking overview that we can best feel and understand the world in which we live. As I have come to deeper levels of understanding my own nature, I have also sought to step back and to find a way to make who I am feel more connected to the larger world around me.
As the daughter and granddaughter of survivors of the Nazi Holocaust, the Shoah, I have always felt a deep connection to family and have held as my most precious desire the dream of continuing the family that was so nearly extinguished over fifty years ago. I grew up assuming that I would marry a nice Jewish man, have babies, and create a good home. I learned from family, from friends, and from the culture around me that being a wife and mother was the ultimate achievement to which I should aspire. Even when it became politically incorrect to admit so, I was always drawn to becoming a mother. Unlike so many of my contemporaries, my interest in establishing a career as the focal point to my life was never very strong. As the years went on, however, and I slowly