Time and Intimacy: A New Science of Personal Relationships

By Joel B. Bennett | Go to book overview

1—
Introduction

Like unseen hands, many “clocks”—social, psychological, and communicative—guide the course and development of personal relationships. In the field of sociology, researchers have discovered that the way individuals follow “social clock” norms can bear on later developments in life. Our age at different transition points in the life of our closest relationships (first sexual intercourse, first marriage, first child) may be “early” or “late” compared to the average age, and so may influence the nature of those relationships (e.g., Helson, Mitchell, & Moane, 1984). Psychologists have discovered that different social motives may be influenced by early childhood experiences in our families and, in turn, shape how we behave with those with which we choose to seek intimacy. Sometimes our need for intimacy (“I want to be close with someone”) may be stronger or weaker than the need for stability (“I like things to run smoothly and in ways I can predict”) or the need for change (“I want to have new and exciting experiences”). Communication scientists as well, studying the moment-to-moment behavior of married couples, have discovered sequences of interaction that take on a life of their own. Some couples “lock in” to cycles of interaction, and others have rhythms of communication that are less predictable but nonetheless determine the character of the couple. These clocks work together, a weave of temporal forces, to shape every challenge and opportunity for intimacy and closeness.

Despite the importance of these clocks, relationships—in their most intimate form—move through and even beyond time. In a sort of paradoxical way, when we experience deeply knowing and caring for another, we sense that relationships are not merely temporal, not strictly bound to age, personal need, or chains of events. This book seeks to bridge these two ways of understanding relationships—one temporal and one transcendent of time. It seeks to show that the weave of time that impels relationships is a precious weave that can be known through science as well as direct experience.


Orientation and Definitions: Grasping at Complexity

This book provides seven different ways (in seven corresponding chapters) of understanding intimacy in a more process-oriented or time-sensitive manner. By “process-oriented” I mean that intimacy is not just some goal to achieve or reach—that is, an outcome, a state, phase, or feeling. This goal is often implied when we talk about sexual union, closeness in just being together, an exchange

-3-

Notes for this page

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Default project is now your active project.
Project items

Items saved from this book

This book has been saved
Highlights (0)
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

Citations (0)
Some of your citations are legacy items.

Any citation created before July 30, 2012 will labeled as a “Cited page.” New citations will be saved as cited passages, pages or articles.

We also added the ability to view new citations from your projects or the book or article where you created them.

Notes (0)
Bookmarks (0)

You have no saved items from this book

Project items include:
  • Saved book/article
  • Highlights
  • Quotes/citations
  • Notes
  • Bookmarks
Notes
Cite this page

Cited page

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited page

Bookmark this page
Time and Intimacy: A New Science of Personal Relationships
Table of contents

Table of contents

Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger Reset View mode
Search within

Search within this book

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Full screen
/ 349

matching results for page

Cited passage

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited passage

Welcome to the new Questia Reader

The Questia Reader has been updated to provide you with an even better online reading experience.  It is now 100% Responsive, which means you can read our books and articles on any sized device you wish.  All of your favorite tools like notes, highlights, and citations are still here, but the way you select text has been updated to be easier to use, especially on touchscreen devices.  Here's how:

1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
2. Click or tap the last word you want to select.

OK, got it!

Thanks for trying Questia!

Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

For full access in an ad-free environment, sign up now for a FREE, 1-day trial.

Already a member? Log in now.