A Special Scar: The Experiences of People Bereaved by Suicide

By Alison Wertheimer | Go to book overview

Chapter 14

Finding a way through

For Simon to commit suicide was almost beyond my endurance. Yet nevertheless, we do endure, and we do laugh, and we do go on contributing to our family and friends, and that, I suppose, is the miracle. (Lois)

I count myself lucky in an odd sense, because I'm repairing damaged goods, and confident of being repairable. (Kevin)

In the weeks and months of their bereavement survivors may feel that they will never be able to live with what has happened. But gradually a way through may begin to seem possible. Two and a half years after his sister's suicide, Peter can look back and see how things have changed:

It has got better, and it's got calmer, and life's gone on, and one finds one's way through…I don't believe you get over it, but I just think you learn how to accommodate it, and how to deal with it, and how to cope with it.

Of the fifty people I interviewed, over half had been bereaved for less than three years, some of these for less than a year-while one person had been a survivor for over fifty years (see Appendix 2). The number of years, though, does not tell the whole story: people move through the process of grieving at their own pace, healing takes place at different rates, and two people who have been bereaved for the same length of time will not necessarily be at the same stage.

Sometimes survivors can look back and see the different stretches of road along which they have travelled, recognising the points when they seemed to reach a new stage. Brian can recall three distinct phases in the two years following his wife's suicide:

first of all it's deadfully slow…there's a numbness that must have gone on for nine months or a year… Then I think one comes out of the numb period, and that's hard too, because as you thaw, you think

-166-

Notes for this page

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Project items

Items saved from this book

This book has been saved
Highlights (0)
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

Citations (0)
Some of your citations are legacy items.

Any citation created before July 30, 2012 will labeled as a “Cited page.” New citations will be saved as cited passages, pages or articles.

We also added the ability to view new citations from your projects or the book or article where you created them.

Notes (0)
Bookmarks (0)

You have no saved items from this book

Project items include:
  • Saved book/article
  • Highlights
  • Quotes/citations
  • Notes
  • Bookmarks
Notes
Cite this page

Cited page

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited page

Bookmark this page
A Special Scar: The Experiences of People Bereaved by Suicide
Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger
Search within

Search within this book

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Full screen
/ 270

matching results for page

Cited passage

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited passage

Welcome to the new Questia Reader

The Questia Reader has been updated to provide you with an even better online reading experience.  It is now 100% Responsive, which means you can read our books and articles on any sized device you wish.  All of your favorite tools like notes, highlights, and citations are still here, but the way you select text has been updated to be easier to use, especially on touchscreen devices.  Here's how:

1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
2. Click or tap the last word you want to select.

OK, got it!

Thanks for trying Questia!

Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

For full access in an ad-free environment, sign up now for a FREE, 1-day trial.

Already a member? Log in now.