Battle Cries: Black Women and Intimate Partner Abuse

By Hillary Potter | Go to book overview

7
Getting Out

“We Have to Pray to God and
Hope Everything Works Out.”

As Billie progressed through her abusive relationships, her dynamic resistance, sowed in her childhood, continued to build. She found it easier to resist the relationships and ultimately found that “Basically, if you just stand up to 'em, stop being such a wimp, stop letting this man do this to you” a woman can stop the abuse or get out of an abusive relationship. In discussing the differences between White and Black women's methods of escape from these relationships, Billie demonstrated the lifelong exasperation she believed Black women felt and their more stalwart efforts in abusive relationships: “White women would kill 'em [laughs]. They'd make some poison cookies. Where Black women I think will just [be like], 'I'll kick your ass, but I got to go.'”

However, before getting to a point of leaving, battered women make various attempts to stop the battering. They seek out assistance from family members, friends, religion, and spirituality. In fact, regarding getting out of her relationship with Kobe, Billie asserted:

Now that I think about it, I'm glad I got away from him. I'd probably be
dead and he'd be trying to have sex with my daughter. Who knows what?
God only knows. I just thank God. Through all that [God] watched over
me and brought me through it. He brought me through it. The only thing
I can say is, “Thank you, Jesus, I'm here.” I could be six feet under.

This statement by Billie is even more interesting since Kobe left the home soon after the rape described in a previous chapter, when Kobe stole Billie's mother's car and left the home, never to be seen again. Billie's “getting away” from Kobe refers to the stance she took after the rape by sleeping

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