Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance, and Religion on America's College Campuses

By Donna Freitas | Go to book overview

EIGHT
God vs. My Boyfriend

I’m supposed to be a great Christian guy and I have sexual feelings,
and with God I feel guilty, and I ask God to forgive me,
and I feel that I’m going to run out of grace.

student at an evangelical university


THE RARE SEXUAL SAGE: CARA WALKER

“If you’ve already had sex, there are ways to repackage your virginity,” Cara Walker tells me matter-of-factly, as if people “repackage” their sexual histories all the time.

Cara Walker and I are chatting like old friends. She speaks with a slow, southern drawl, rounding out her vowels, keeping the pace of our conversation leisurely, as if we have all the time in the world. She wears her thick, light-brown hair with blonde highlights in an old-fashioned flip, shoulder length, making her seem older than her 20 years. A sophomore at an evangelical university, Cara comes from a missionary family that lived in Africa for 10 years, bouncing from one country to another. She went to church regularly, prayed at home, did Bible study and youth group—the standard evangelical upbringing. At college, Cara has continued these activities. She “feels tired” if she doesn’t go to church on Sunday. Her friends are “really involved” Christians, too. They pray together, go to services together, and even do yoga

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