Why Bruce Willis Is the Perfect JR; Bonnie Greer
Greer, Bonnie, The Mail on Sunday (London, England)
Byline: BONNIE GREER
Bruce Willis is being lined up to play JR Ewing in a film version of Dallas. This is perfect casting. In fact, I predict that he will eclipse Larry Hagman.
What made us huge fans of Hagman was his sending up of the tycoon we loved to hate. Hagman, a Texan himself, actually detested the lack of principles of the brash, greedy man he portrayed, as much as he now loathes the aggressive oil-mogul politics of George Bush and his administration.
Hagman has even been over here to rail against Bush's heavy-handed policies. Willis, on the other hand, is a card-carrying Republican, a man who built his own town when he was married to Demi Moore.
Willis has made himself out of nothing and cannot see why everyone else can't do the same. His JR will not be a send-up, but for real.
* What do you do if you've been divorced, become bankrupt, and had your royal title stripped from you? You go to America.
Five's Being Sarah Ferguson follows Fergie through her Weight Watchers tour of America and compares and contrasts her treatment over there and in her native land.
In America, Fergie is an icon, the very model of someone who has risen from the dead. She is routinely applauded as she comes on stage to the tune of I Will Survive. It is difficult to recall any British star in America who has quite pulled off the reinvention that she has.
At home, she is forced to spend Christmas away from her children's grandparents, goes to funerals alone, and only attracts one photographer when she does her charity work.
This documentary is partly a cautionary tale - what the Establishment can do to you when you mess up - and partly a plea for us to begin to understand the sensitive being that is Sarah Ferguson.
At the very least she demonstrates a remarkable will and strong character.
But Fergie is country gentry through and through, and it must embarrass her to have to constantly expose her misdemeanours, her struggles and her triumphs to her adoring American audience.
* The knives are out for Vanessa Feltz because she's put the weight back on.
But I've been at functions where Vanessa was present when she was supposedly skinny, and she never really was.
Vanessa has made a career out of her weight loss, rather like Geri Halliwell, but neither of these ladies naturally has a reed-thin supermodel figure. In fact, Halliwell looks a hundred times healthier and younger since she put a few pounds back on.
Similarly, while Vanessa may be angry with herself for breaking the diet, she appears more together, in spite of the extra flesh, because she's not trying to be something she isn't.
* Harry Potter is a cultural phenomenon and a global product. …