The Man's Page: Big Boys'toys; Masculinity Is an Hereditary Thing, Writes David Williamson, but Gadgets Put the Genius into Gender

Western Mail (Cardiff, Wales), July 15, 2003 | Go to article overview

The Man's Page: Big Boys'toys; Masculinity Is an Hereditary Thing, Writes David Williamson, but Gadgets Put the Genius into Gender


Byline: David Williamson

1Magnetic Dartboard Riding a Harley Davidson through the desert heartlands of the United States of America produces the same feelings of freedom and elation 73% of Belgians experience when using a foot spa. As Belgium is a fine country with an excellent health care system and an intimate knowledge of the full culinary potential of mayonnaise, it is in the interests of a modern Wales that we achieve similar satisfaction on a regular basis.

If the Economic Development Minister can be encouraged to subsidise the purchase of large and nostalgically noisy motorbikes for each Welshman on his 40th birthday, it is also important that we are also equipped with a magnetic dartboard.

Otherwise, when the cream of Ceredigion accepts a challenge from a Texan motorcycle gang to a game of darts, the resulting humiliation could produce enduring psychological damage.

But by positioning one's own magnetic dartboard in even the most dimly lit saloon, it is possible to imbibe Wild Turkey bourbon without worrying about where errant darts might land. As the laws of physics ensure that successive bullseyes are scored, backs will be slapped, engines revved and Welsh expressions shared in the land of the Alamo. Wales's special relationship with our transatlantic brothers will glisten like a diamond-encrusted knuckleduster.

www.gadgets4you.com pounds 14.994Tony Blair Action Figure

Before Tony Blair had won his historic election victory and become a world-famous Prime Minister, Gordon Brown and him are alleged to have made a secret deal whereby the soon-to-be Chancellor would one day be handed the keys to Number 10.

While there has been great speculation about the specifics of the pact, only those closest to the father of New Labour can guess as to what he might have envisaged doing next.

No-one has suggested that he has plans to become a Hollywood star, but brilliantly conceived and wonderfully collectable action figures are already being manufactured which demonstrate that matinee idol status may be within as easy reach for him as the keys of constitutional power have repeatedly been proven to be.

True, in this military incarnation he does look like Steven Seagal, but Mr Blair could expand traditional action hero roles by having the protagonist play both tennis and the guitar (sometimes at the same time), drink tea from a red mug and -during brief moments of calm between loud explosions and jokes with his American sidekick -argue in favour of the European Union. …

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The Man's Page: Big Boys'toys; Masculinity Is an Hereditary Thing, Writes David Williamson, but Gadgets Put the Genius into Gender
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