Competition: Win Vouchers to Spend at Any TESCO Store

By Meaner, de | New Statesman (1996), August 25, 2003 | Go to article overview

Competition: Win Vouchers to Spend at Any TESCO Store


Meaner, de, New Statesman (1996)


Competition No 3793

Set by George Cowley on 4 August Limericks for Tony Blair.

Report by Ms de Meaner

Fantastico. A bumper crop, even though it's the summer holidays and you're all sunbathing on Greek islands (wherever). Hon menshes to all. A tenner per limerick, and the Tesco vouchers go to Barrie Heads, for excellence beyond the call of duty.

Said the new Labour Honcho (no less), Of Alastair's noted finesse, "If he's master of spin, "Why the hell am I in "Yet another fine, balls-aching mess?"

WATSON WEEKS

Past a landmark our PM'S just lumbered, With multiple problems encumbered. Now the record's been broken, Let us speak the unspoken: Blair's days are both counted and numbered.

KEITH NORMAN

Oh Tony's the lord of the dance, To the left and the right, how he plants His trotters, the pig! Yet how jolly his jig: More Flatley than Attlee, perchance.

BILL GREENWELL

We've a fine Labour leader in Blair, His time spent in office is rare. He's beaten Clem Attlee By three weeks exactly, So why should we socialists care?

TONY SMITH

There was a young student from Fettes Who decided he wanted to get us A role in the east. We told him: "You beast, "It's peace that we want." He won't let us.

BRIAN ALLINGHAM

Blair, as he lay by the sea, Moaned sadly in real misery. "Oh Cherie," he wailed, "This year I have failed: "Our air fares were paid by poor ME! …

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Competition: Win Vouchers to Spend at Any TESCO Store
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