More from Our Columnist, the Scabrous Clement Crabbe, of the Rockpools Register, Who Takes a Wry, Whimsical Look at a World Increasingly beyond Parody

Daily Mail (London), October 6, 2007 | Go to article overview

More from Our Columnist, the Scabrous Clement Crabbe, of the Rockpools Register, Who Takes a Wry, Whimsical Look at a World Increasingly beyond Parody


Byline: Clement Crabbe

EVENTS in Burma are being monitored at Heathens, London SW15, home ofthe Putney secularists Clive and Peta Lapse. The Lapses are no great friends ofmilitary juntas. In fact they are paid-up Liberal Democrats. But they have asneaking regard for the way Rangoon's State Peace and Development Counciltreats meddlesome monks.

If only Western governments would do the same to our own priestly confessors.If only London police chief Sir Ian Blair and his sharpshooters would set up amachine-gun nest opposite Holy Trinity Brompton and mow down a few of thosetambourine-rattling happy clappies! Clive came in from another day's hardcampaigning for disestablishment. He turned on the ITV news, saw Burmesesoldiers firing at various orange-robed monastics, and gave a heartfelt cheerof 'Banzai!' Peta, embroidering a nice cover for her hardback copy of RichardDawkins's The God Delusion, looked up from her needlework and said: 'Don't youmean "bullseye", dear?' Militant atheists have not had an uplifting autumn.First there was the way both Gordon Brown and David Cameron used Biblicallanguage in their party conference speeches. Then came all this stuff aboutschools being allowed to teach creationism.

Shooting monks? Clive, who fancies himself a Che Guevara to A.C. Grayling'sGandhi, sighs with envy. Every time he hears Rabbi Lionel roly-poly Italiantenor (Brown).

Blue or that Anne Atkins woman on Thought For The Day he feels his triggerfinger itching.

Perhaps Burma for a winter holiday this year.

GORDON Brown, like Tony Blair, has been quick to express sorrow at fashionablemoments, be it the imprisonment of a fictitious character in Coronation Street(Blair) or the death of a roly-poly Italian tenor (Brown).

But why was there no tribute from politicians this week to Ronnie Hazlehurst,the composer whose work included the theme tunes of Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Emand Last Of The Summer Wine? Hazlehurst mined deep into the soul of England. Hedid far more for our national glue of culture than any Deirdre Rachid orPavarotti. He brought more quiet pleasure to the British people than even thatwellknown comic figure Tony Benn.

'Themes' on the BBC these days do not mean well-written melodies.

BBC2, for instance, has decided on a 'themed' comedy night for Thursdays.

Or as the BBC2 continuity announcer put it, in a forced Geordie accent:'Thursday nights are foonny.' Foonny? We'll be the judge of that thank you, MrGeordie.

LONDON 'saloniste' Lady Taupe continues to find some of the terminology ofpolitics confusing. For instance: this past month everyone, but everyone, hasbeen seeking her opinion. 'Do you think Gordon will go to the country?' theyask.

Go to the country? In Lady Taupe's world going to the country is what you do atweekends. She would be very happy if the Prime Minister went to the countrytoday. Shropshire is perfect at this time of year.

But she hopes very much he will be back in London by Monday morning.

And then there is this talk of the 'Blair Foundation'. Lady Taupe is not naive.She knows Tony sometimes wears a lot of make-up. But need he really have abrand of cosmetic foundation named after him? POSTMAN Ibex, camel of thesuburbs, sits at home, not knowing what to do.

Normally he wanders the garden paths of Metroland with his groaning bag of junkmail, whistling his fruity whistle and greeting customers with a cheery: 'Ifthat dog bites me I'll sue you for compensation. …

The rest of this article is only available to active members of Questia

Sign up now for a free, 1-day trial and receive full access to:

  • Questia's entire collection
  • Automatic bibliography creation
  • More helpful research tools like notes, citations, and highlights
  • Ad-free environment

Already a member? Log in now.

Notes for this article

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Default project is now your active project.
Project items

Items saved from this article

This article has been saved
Highlights (0)
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

Citations (0)
Some of your citations are legacy items.

Any citation created before July 30, 2012 will labeled as a “Cited page.” New citations will be saved as cited passages, pages or articles.

We also added the ability to view new citations from your projects or the book or article where you created them.

Notes (0)
Bookmarks (0)

You have no saved items from this article

Project items include:
  • Saved book/article
  • Highlights
  • Quotes/citations
  • Notes
  • Bookmarks
Notes
Cite this article

Cited article

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited article

More from Our Columnist, the Scabrous Clement Crabbe, of the Rockpools Register, Who Takes a Wry, Whimsical Look at a World Increasingly beyond Parody
Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger Reset View mode
Search within

Search within this article

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Full screen

matching results for page

Cited passage

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited passage

Welcome to the new Questia Reader

The Questia Reader has been updated to provide you with an even better online reading experience.  It is now 100% Responsive, which means you can read our books and articles on any sized device you wish.  All of your favorite tools like notes, highlights, and citations are still here, but the way you select text has been updated to be easier to use, especially on touchscreen devices.  Here's how:

1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
2. Click or tap the last word you want to select.

OK, got it!

Thanks for trying Questia!

Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

For full access in an ad-free environment, sign up now for a FREE, 1-day trial.

Already a member? Log in now.