The Despot Index


More than 400 million people live under the iron fist of these nasty tyrants. As Muammar Gaddafi and Bashar al-Assad fire on their own people, check out their allies in oppression and corruption.

Muammar Gaddafi

COUNTRY

Libya

AGE (YEARS IN POWER)

68 years old (41)

NICKNAME

King of Kings

VICE

Ukrainian nurses

TRADEMARK

Dressing like a doorman

WORST CRIME

Engineered Lockerbie bombing killing 270 people

ILL-GOTTEN GAINS

144 tons of gold

LEGIT PAL

Silvio Berlusconi

WIFE

Safia, former nurse

FUTURE PROSPECTS

Not so promising

INTELLECTUAL PURSUIT

Authored The Green Book

PECCADILLO

All-virgin women bodyguards

Kim Jong-Il

COUNTRY

North Korea

AGE (YEARS IN POWER)

70 years old (16)

NICKNAME

Central Brain

VICE

Cognac

TRADEMARK

Matching pajamas

WORST CRIME

Famine claimed 1 million lives

ILL-GOTTEN GAINS

$4 billion; luxury

appetite eats up 20 percent of nation's budget

LEGIT PAL

Hu Jintao

WIFE

Kim Young Sook; also has mistresses

FUTURE PROSPECTS

Son ready to rule

INTELLECTUAL PURSUIT

Authored On the Art of the Cinema

PECCADILLO

"Joy brigades" with high-school girls

Alexander Lukashenko

COUNTRY

Belarus

AGE (YEARS IN POWER)

56 years old (16)

NICKNAME

Father of the Nation

VICE

Roller-skating

TRADEMARK

Stalin 'stache

WORST CRIME

Widespread human-rights abuses

ILL-GOTTEN GAINS

$9 billion personal fortune, according to WikiLeaks

LEGIT PAL

Pope Benedict XVI

WIFE

Galina Rodionovna Lukashenko

FUTURE PROSPECT

Back on the ballot

INTELLECTUAL PURSUIT

Agricultural expert

PECCADILLO

Enjoys songs about himself

Robert Mugabe

COUNTRY

Zimbabwe

AGE (YEARS IN POWER)

87 years old (23)

NICKNAME

Bob

VICE

HAS HIS OWN supermarket

TRADEMARK

Hitler 'stache

WORST CRIME

Massacre of thousands of civilians in 1980s

ILL-GOTTEN GAINS

With allies, OWNns nearly half of country's land

LEGIT PAL

Malaysian P.M.

WIFE

"Gucci" Grace, a.k.a. "the First Shopper"

FUTURE PROSPECTS

Mostly secure

INTELLECTUAL PURSUIT

Chancellor of Zimbabwe U.

PECCADILLO

Suspiciously homophobic

Basher Al-Assad

COUNTRY

Syria

AGE (YEARS IN POWER)

40 years old (10)

NICKNAME

The Lion

VICE

Coziness with Hizbullah

TRADEMARK

Flattop

WORST CRIME

Brutal suppression of recent protests

ILL-GOTTEN GAINS

Father Hafez was worth $2 billion

LEGIT PAL

Lula da Silva

WIFE

Asma, recently in Vogue

FUTURE PROSPECTS

Shaky

INTELLECTUAL PURSUIT

Trained ophthalmologist

PECCADILLO

Nepotism

Than Shwe

COUNTRY

Burma

AGE (YEARS IN POWER)

78 years old (19)

NICKNAME

The Bulldog

VICE

Chummy with opium lords

TRADEMARK

Wearing women's clothing

WORST CRIME

1 million people dislocated by ruling junta

ILL-GOTTEN GAINS

Skimming off oil and gas profits

LEGIT PAL

Indian P. …

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