Don't Worry about Little Zachary, Elton.We Are Gay Parents like You and Our Children Are Fine; Elton John Is Worried His 19-Month-Old Son Will Grow Up to Be the Victim of Bullies Because He 'Doesn't Have a Mummy'. Here Two Gay Couples Who Have Young Families Offer Him Some Homespun and Heart-Warming Advice
Byline: Elton John
I UNDERSTAND your concerns and that's good, all parents are worried about their children's future. But I don't doubt that if a child is raised with love, he or she will be OK.
Will Sebastian ask some awkward questions when he gets older? Of course, but I think the tough questions have changed. We've moved on from the awkward birds-and-the-bees questions to, 'Why does Mary have two mummies?'
We were in the supermarket the other day and there was a woman pushing a boy in a pushchair. Sebastian pointed and said: 'Who is that?'
I said: 'That's his mummy.'
He said: 'I don't have a mummy,' and I replied: 'No, you don't, but you have two daddies.' He said: 'Yes, I've got two daddies,' and raised and opened out his little fist.
You can't hide it from the kids. You've got to be upfront.
I was at a friend's barbecue the other week and two of his little girls, about seven or so years old, gave me a good grilling. They said: 'So you're two men and you're married and you have a baby, but you need a woman to have a baby. Where's Sebastian's woman?'
I said: 'That's right, you do. And there's a nice lady in America who gave us an egg and carried Sebastian for us.'
I always wanted to be a dad but as a gay man I thought it would be so hard I suppressed it. I grew up in Rhodesia and South Africa, although my mother is English. My parents were Jehovah's Witnesses so I grew up without birthdays or Christmases. That was normal for me and to Sebastian, his upbringing will be normal.
Jehovah's Witnesses and homosexuality do not get on. I knew I was gay and I knew what it meant for my family so I left and came to England when I was 25 years old. That was when I celebrated my first birthday.
Children can have a difficult time growing up, but in today's world I don't think it will necessarily be because their parents are gay. Am I concerned that my child will be bullied? Of course I am, like any other parent. It's a parent's worst fear that their child will be picked on, but it can be for any number of reasons.
I don't doubt that at some point some nasty little toe-rag in the playground will have a go at Sebastian because he's got two dads but if we show and teach him all the things he has to be proud of, I think he will be able to cope.
Sebastian is half-American, he has a US passport and can work there if he wants to when he's older. He has got two professional dads who went to extreme lengths, financially and emotionally, to get him.
He wasn't an accident - he will always know how much we wanted him.
I remember Barrie and Tony Drewitt-Barlow [Britain's first gay fathers] said that someone had turned round to one of their sons and said: 'You're going to turn out just like your dad.' He replied: 'What? Handsome, successful and rich. I hope so.'
I wouldn't ever want Sebastian to be arrogant but I hope that he will have that level of confidence to respond in such a way.
I don't think a child is particularly better off with same sex parents, but I certainly don't think they're any worse off than any other child who grows up in a loving home. And the fact we had to go through so much to get Sebastian will reinforce that love for him.
If ever, when he's a teenager, he says: 'I didn't ask to be born,' I am so ready for him.
I was nervous of telling people we were having a child by surrogacy. It was like coming out all over again. But in fact the response was overwhelmingly positive.
At the time I was working for Barclays.
I told my boss I would need some time off to go to the States and he was incredibly supportive. I told my team and they were all great. Even the neighbours were excited.
Surrogacy was once for only the super-rich, but that is not the case any more. We used the agency, Circle Surrogacy. …