Ian Hyland's TV Week: Why DIY Castration Is a Very Saw point.(Features)
Byline: Ian Hyland
THE most obvious thing to say about Death By DIY (BBC1, Thursday) - apart from the sad fact that it wasn't offering suitable punishment to Carol Smillie - is that no-one died.
But if this hour-long documentary looking at the dangers of DIY succeeds in killing off shows like Changing Rooms and Ground Force then hey, I'll be the first one cheering.
And I hope Nick Knowles won't be far behind me. Because he's better than this.
Still, you had to admire him for holding together a show which took the mickey out of some pretty serious DIY accidents.
I mean, is there anything remotely funny about a bloke almost losing his knackers to a circular saw? Or Cheryl Baker's pipes bursting? Or Peter Purves falling off a ladder when his missus popped indoors to make a cup of tea?
OK, you're right; it was hilarious.
And Nick clearly has a sense of humour. Why else would he have worn that creamy, chunky pullover on national television?
And why else would he have delivered a line like: "Now, there's amateurs and then there's Cheryl Baker" with such obvious glee?
But how he kept a straight face as poor old Barry Moran recounted his tale (or should that be tail?) of woe I'll never know. Barry almost lost what he called "his chappie" when a circular saw bounced up and delivered a huge gash to his groin.
Luckily, he's all right now and can laugh about it with his mates. "I've had loads of stick," said Barry. Yeah, but you nearly didn't have. …