Romance and Finance: For Love and Money. (Money Talk$)

Ebony, February 2003 | Go to article overview

Romance and Finance: For Love and Money. (Money Talk$)


CHARLIE Parker said, "Romance without finance is a nuisance." And whether you're just married, just moving in, or just starting out, you know that making romance and finance work can be a frustrating and confusing experience.

You've probably been there--arguing one night about how much he or she spent, and then spending the next night trying to piece together the remnants of what you thought was a great relationship. He gets offended when you reach for your purse to pay for your movie ticket. She gets upset because you didn't pick up the dinner cheek fast enough. The love-and-money quagmire goes on and on.

Navigating the mess is critical because financial problems can strain some relationships to the breaking point, says author Nick Chiles. The South Orange, N.J., resident has written a series of relationship books with his wife, Denene Millner, including What Brothers Think, What Sistahs Know About Sex: The Real Deal on Passion, Loving and Intimacy.

"When we start thinking about spending the rest of our lives with someone, security becomes the prominent necessity. For both sexes, when we think about loving someone, we think about what our lives will be like with this person," says Chiles, an award-winning journalist who has a psychology degree from Yale University. "So money pops up pretty immediately."

Money isn't the cause of the problem; it's how couples think about money that creates a "nuisance." What couples should remember is that the main rule regarding relationships and money matters is this--communicate and compromise.

"You have to begin by understanding that just because you did it one way doesn't mean that's the only way it could have been done," says Millner, who also wrote The Sistahs' Rules: Secrets for Meeting, Getting and Keeping a Good Black Man. "When [Nick and I] got into this relationship, I had one idea about how money should be saved and spent and handled, and he had a totally different one. The important thing is to understand where that other person is coming from and then find a happy medium.

Finding the middle ground means having an honest discussion about your financial views. Tell your partner if you put $200 into a money-market account each month or if you live paycheck-to-paycheck. Come to the table honestly and openly to see if your financial needs and views are compatible. If they're not compatible, work at learning more about money and each other, and try to compromise.

The way couples view money can also give insight into other aspects of their personalities.

The rest of this article is only available to active members of Questia

Sign up now for a free, 1-day trial and receive full access to:

  • Questia's entire collection
  • Automatic bibliography creation
  • More helpful research tools like notes, citations, and highlights
  • Ad-free environment

Already a member? Log in now.

Notes for this article

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Project items

Items saved from this article

This article has been saved
Highlights (0)
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

Citations (0)
Some of your citations are legacy items.

Any citation created before July 30, 2012 will labeled as a “Cited page.” New citations will be saved as cited passages, pages or articles.

We also added the ability to view new citations from your projects or the book or article where you created them.

Notes (0)
Bookmarks (0)

You have no saved items from this article

Project items include:
  • Saved book/article
  • Highlights
  • Quotes/citations
  • Notes
  • Bookmarks
Notes
Cite this article

Cited article

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited article

Romance and Finance: For Love and Money. (Money Talk$)
Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger
Search within

Search within this article

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Full screen

matching results for page

Cited passage

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited passage

Welcome to the new Questia Reader

The Questia Reader has been updated to provide you with an even better online reading experience.  It is now 100% Responsive, which means you can read our books and articles on any sized device you wish.  All of your favorite tools like notes, highlights, and citations are still here, but the way you select text has been updated to be easier to use, especially on touchscreen devices.  Here's how:

1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
2. Click or tap the last word you want to select.

OK, got it!

Thanks for trying Questia!

Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

For full access in an ad-free environment, sign up now for a FREE, 1-day trial.

Already a member? Log in now.