Rogue Trader: Carnival against Anarchism!
It's payback time! After the Crustie invasion of the City the week before last, Rogue Trader urges all financial folk to join the Direct Action protest against the Glastonbury Festival this weekend!
Top tips on how to wind up a hippie and bring the whole evil, lazing- about-doing-nothing machine grinding to a halt:
J Disguise yourself as a Non-Hierarchical Community Acrobat. Nick a crate of Bollinger from the Shepton Mallet off-licence. Get drunk and throw the empty bottles at the Macrobiotic Vegetarian Samosa tent in a deadly rain of consumerist retribution. Co-ordinator: "Trousers" at Morgan Grenfell. J Disorientate New Age Travellers by filtering Ecstacy out of the organic scrumpy supply. Co-ordinator: "Dr Feelgood" at Zeneca. He will be operating a field-lab in the back of his BMW. J URGENT: Corporate lawyers still needed to help complete dawn- raid purchase of festival site. We plan to evict the hippies, fence off the site with razor wire and post signs saying: "Keep Out: site of proposed combined 20-lane by-pass, weapons-grade uranium enrichment plant and crated veal trans-shipment depot". Co- ordinator: "Swampy" from Tarmac, Corporate Affairs. J Blockade all approaches by circling slowly in tax-perk company cars. Blast tapes of The Financial World Tonight out of the window, squirt CFCs, and throw litter out of the sun-roof. Knock over cyclists and use your Bull Bars to mow down any form of animal life you meet. J Start a fight by ostentatiously eating a genetically modified whalemeat and tomato sandwich in the Chill Out tent. J RAGE AGAINST THE …
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Publication information: Article title: Rogue Trader: Carnival against Anarchism!. Contributors: Not available. Newspaper title: The Independent (London, England). Publication date: June 27, 1999. Page number: 6. © 2009 The Independent - London. Provided by ProQuest LLC. All Rights Reserved.