Through a Parent's Eyes: Core Issues, Coping Styles, and Communication
Mark is seventeen now. He used to ask a lot of questions about his birth family. I just told him that we are his family now and that is all that matters. He just doesn't bring it up anymore. I am glad he doesn't.
Kelly came into my room the other night and asked me why her birth mother got rid of her. We have always talked to her about adoption and the fact that she is our chosen child and that we really love her. I just always thought that would be enough for a ten-year- old.
Robert, who is fourteen now, has always had a lot of questions about his birth mother. We were given detailed information about her and have always answered his questions completely. I generally asked him about what he was feeling when he asked questions. He has always known that talking about adoption in this house is always welcomed.
Talking with children and teens about adoption and answering their questions doesn't appear on the surface to be a difficult problem for the family. Just answer their questions, one might be advised. However, for some adoptive parents, it is not that simple. Why?