Censored by Confucius: Ghost Stories by Yuan Mei

By Kam Louie; Louise Edwards et al. | Go to book overview
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Revenge on the Warrior of the Flowers

A man named Yang who lives in the capital is renowned for his skill in the "battle of the flower pickers." This "battle" is actually a magical sexual art whereby Yang takes a lead rod, puts it deep into a woman's vagina, then moves it in and out in time with his breathing.

He calls this technique "testing the sword." He can also control the width of the rod with his breath, making it thicker so that it rubs noisily against the walls of the vagina. Moreover, he can maintain these breathing techniques while drinking half a quart of liquor. This sadistic form of sex generated considerable horror among the prostitutes around town.

One day Yang came to the conclusion that these special skills, impressive as they were, would not grant him eternal life. So he set about the arduous task of searching for a teacher who could impart knowledge of immortality pills.

Yang had heard that each year on the nineteenth of January, the famous Daoist monastery of Baiyun, situated outside Fucheng's city gates, was visited by an immortal. This particular monastery had been built in the Yuan dynasty in honor of Qiuzhen, a priest of amazing spirituality. People came from miles around to make offerings and burn incense, and the monastery was especially crowded on the appointed day in January.

Yang figured that this would be a likely place to start his quest, so he made the journey to the monastery to see the immortal.

When he arrived he saw a beautiful nun in the crowd of people lined up to offer incense. Yang's sharp eyes noticed that her clothes didn't move with the breeze, as did those of the others around her, so he concluded that she must be an immortal. Yang walked over and knelt at her feet, respectfully asking for her assistance.

"Are you the Mr. Yang who has mastered Daoist sexual techniques?" the nun queried.

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