Sons and Lovers

By D. H. Lawrence; David Trotter | Go to book overview

CHAPTER IX
DEFEAT OF MIRIAM

PAUL was dissatisfied with himself and with everything. The deepest of his love belonged to his mother. When he felt he had hurt her, or wounded his love for her, he could not bear it. Now it was spring, and there was battle between him and Miriam. This year he had a good deal against her. She was vaguely aware of it. The old feeling that she was to be a sacrifice to this love, which she had had when she prayed, was mingled in all her emotions. She did not at the bottom believe she ever would have him. She did not believe in herself primarily: doubted whether she could ever be what he would demand of her. Certainly she never saw herself living happily through a lifetime with him. She saw tragedy, sorrow, and sacrifice ahead. And in sacrifice she was proud, in renunciation she was strong, for she did not trust herself to support everyday life. She was prepared for the big things and the deep things, like tragedy. It was the sufficiency of the small day-life she could not trust.

The Easter holidays began happily. Paul was his own frank self. Yet she felt it would go wrong. On the Sunday afternoon she stood at her bedroom window, looking across at the oak-trees of the wood, in whose branches a twilight was tangled, below the bright sky of the afternoon. Greygreen rosettes of honeysuckle leaves hung before the window, some already, she fancied, showing bud. It was spring, which she loved and dreaded.

Hearing the clack of the gate she stood in suspense. It was a bright grey day. Paul came into the yard with his bicycle, which glittered as he walked. Usually he rang his bell and laughed towards the house. To-day he walked with shut lips and cold, cruel bearing, that had something of a slouch and a sneer in it. She knew him well by now, and could tell from that keen-looking, aloof young body of his what was hap

-246-

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Sons and Lovers
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Title Page iii
  • Contents v
  • Acknowledgements vi
  • Introduction vii
  • Note on the Text xxx
  • Select Bibliography xxxiv
  • A Chronology of D.H. Lawrence xxxvi
  • Contents 3
  • Part I 5
  • Chapter II- The Birth of Paul, and Another Battle 34
  • Chapter III- The Casting off of Morel-The Taking on of William 55
  • Chapter IV- The Young Life of Paul 69
  • Chapter V- Paul Launches into Life 98
  • Chapter VI- Death in the Family 132
  • Part II 165
  • Chapter VII- Lad-And-Girl Love 165
  • Chapter VIII- Stripe in Love 207
  • Chapter IX- Defeat of Miriam 246
  • Chapter X- Clara 287
  • Chapter XI- The Test on Miriam 315
  • Chapter XII- Passion 341
  • Chapter XIII- Baxter Dawes 386
  • Chapter XIV- The Release 428
  • Chapter XV- Derelict 462
  • Appendix 475
  • Explanatory Notes 476
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