The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication

By William R. Cupach; Brian H. Spitzberg | Go to book overview

CHAPTER 9
RELATIONAL TRANSGRESSIONS

Sandra Metts Illinois State University

Dear Abby: My husband and I were planning a 40th anniversary celebration, but I called it off three months ago when I learned from someone that my husband had had an affair with a young woman while he was stationed in Alameda, Calif., during World War II. The affair lasted about a year while he was waiting to be shipped out, but never was. When I confronted him with the facts, he admitted it, but said it was "nothing serious.". . . I am devastated. I feel betrayed, knowing I've spent the last 37 years living with a liar and a cheat. How can I ever trust him again? The bottom has fallen out of my world.

This letter is a poignant illustration of how a transgression can rock the very foundation of a relationship. In this case, the act of infidelity is only the first blow; the 37 years of omission is the second, and probably more devastating, hit. Moreover, although it is not likely that any account would be easily accepted by this wife, the statement that the affair was "nothing serious" is insufficient and does not address her feelings of betrayal.

Relational transgressions are not necessarilw as traumatic as the one experienced by this letter writer. However, even comparatively minor offenses tend to disrupt the stability of a relationship because they involve violations of rules for appropriate relational conduct. Some rules have been explicitly established by the couple, whereas others have been taken-for-granted expectations that were not recognized until the moment of their violation. In either case, if the behavior is considered sufficiently untoward by the offended partner, the misconduct will be considered a relational transgression. The con

-217-

Notes for this page

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Default project is now your active project.
Project items

Items saved from this book

This book has been saved
Highlights (0)
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

Citations (0)
Some of your citations are legacy items.

Any citation created before July 30, 2012 will labeled as a “Cited page.” New citations will be saved as cited passages, pages or articles.

We also added the ability to view new citations from your projects or the book or article where you created them.

Notes (0)
Bookmarks (0)

You have no saved items from this book

Project items include:
  • Saved book/article
  • Highlights
  • Quotes/citations
  • Notes
  • Bookmarks
Notes
Cite this page

Cited page

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited page

Bookmark this page
The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Title Page iii
  • Contents v
  • Preface vii
  • References ix
  • PART I - Shades of Darkness in Interpersonal Relations 1
  • Chapter 1 - Stratagems, Spoils, and a Serpent's Tooth: On the Delights and Dilemmas of Personal Relationships 3
  • Acknowledgments 20
  • References 20
  • Chapter 2 - The Dark Side of (in) Competence 25
  • References 41
  • PART II - The Maze of Messages 51
  • Chapter 3 - Messages that Hurt 53
  • Acknowledgments 78
  • References 78
  • Chapter 4 - Patterns of Interational Paradoxes 83
  • References 100
  • Chapter 5 - Equivocations as an Interactional Event 105
  • References 122
  • PART III - The Face Beneath the Masks 125
  • Chapter 6 - Conversational Dilemmas 127
  • References 157
  • Chapter 7 - Social Predicaments 159
  • References 176
  • Chapter 8 - Deception 181
  • Acknowledgments 211
  • References 211
  • PART IV - Relational Webs 215
  • Chapter 9 - Relational Transgressions 217
  • References 238
  • Chapter 10 - Privacy Binds in Family Interactions: The Case of Parental Privacy Invasion 241
  • References 256
  • Chapter 11 - The Dark Side of "Normal" Family Interaction 259
  • References 276
  • Chapter 12 - Physical and Psychological Abuse 281
  • References 306
  • PART V - Fetching Good out of Evil 313
  • Chapter 13 - Dark Side Dénouement 315
  • References 319
  • AUTHOR INDEX 321
  • SUBJECT INDEX 335
Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger Reset View mode
Search within

Search within this book

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Full screen
/ 337

matching results for page

Cited passage

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

"Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited passage

Welcome to the new Questia Reader

The Questia Reader has been updated to provide you with an even better online reading experience.  It is now 100% Responsive, which means you can read our books and articles on any sized device you wish.  All of your favorite tools like notes, highlights, and citations are still here, but the way you select text has been updated to be easier to use, especially on touchscreen devices.  Here's how:

1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
2. Click or tap the last word you want to select.

OK, got it!

Thanks for trying Questia!

Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

For full access in an ad-free environment, sign up now for a FREE, 1-day trial.

Already a member? Log in now.