Hail to Thee, Okoboji U! A Humor Anthology on Higher Education

By Mark C. Ebersole | Go to book overview
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A Short History of Higher Education

Richard Armour


Prehistoric Times

Little is known about higher education during the Stone Age, which is perhaps just as well.

Because of a weakness in the liberal arts, the B.A. was not offered, and there was only the B.S., or Bachelor of Stones. Laboratory facilities were meager, owing to lack of government contracts and support from private industry, but the stars were readily available on clear nights for those interested in astronomy.

Prehistoric students, being before history, failed to comprehend the fundamentals of the subject, such as its being divided into Ancient, Medieval, and Modern.

There were no college boards.

Nor were there any fraternities. The only clubs on the campus were those carried by the students.

Alumni organizations were in their infancy, where some of them have remained. The Alumni Secretary occupied a small cave, left behind when the Director of Development moved to a larger one. While waiting for contributions to come in, he idly doodled on the wall, completely unaware that art critics would someday mistake his drawings of certain members of the board of trustees for dinosaurs and sabertoothed tigers.

The Alumni Quarterly came out every quarter of a century, and was as eagerly awaited as it is today.


The Classical Period

In ancient Athens everyone knew Greek, and in ancient Rome everyone knew Latin, even small children--which those who have taken Elementary Greek or Elementary Latin will find hard to believe. Universities wishing to teach a language which had little practical use but was good for mental discipline could have offered English if they had thought of it.

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