You must bring this absent mind a little bit nearer;
You must tidy up that disorderly cerebellum;
You must write today and enroll in the Pelman Institute."
He embraced his pen and he took his wife in hand,
He wrinkled a stamp and thoughtfully licked his brow,
He wrote the letter and mailed it, and what do you know?
In a couple of days he disappeared from Cambridge.
"For heavens sake, my husband has disappeared,"
Said Mrs. Primrose. "Now isn't that just like him?"
And she cut the meat and grocery orders in half,
And moved the chairs in the living room around,
And settled down to a little solid comfort.
She had a marvelous time for seven years,
At the end of which she took a train to Chicago.
She liked to go to Chicago once in a while
Because of a sister-in-law who lived in Cambridge.
Her eye was caught at Schenectady by the porter;
She noticed that he was brushing off a dime,
And trying to put the passenger in his pocket.
"Porter," she said, "aren't you Professor Primrose?
Aren't you my husband, the missing Professor Primrose?
And what did you learn at the Pelman Institute?"
"Good Lawd, Maria," the porter said, "good Lawd!
Did you say Pelman? Ah wrote to de Pullman folks!"
David M. Rein
When I was a young instructor I was quite indifferent to rank. While going to college, I studied little and had no plans and when, unexpectedly, a teaching post was offered I was so delighted I wanted little more. The higher ranks seemed so far beyond my grasp, I dared not aspire to them. I did, however, want to become an assistant professor so that I
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Publication information: Book title: Hail to Thee, Okoboji U!A Humor Anthology on Higher Education. Contributors: Mark C. Ebersole - Editor. Publisher: Fordham University Press. Place of publication: New York. Publication year: 1992. Page number: 51.