Love and Approval The happiness and well-being of children depend on the de- gree of love and approval we give them. We must be on the child's side. Being on the side of the child is giving love to the child--not possessive love--not sentimental love--just behav- ing to the child in such a way that the child feels you love him and approve of him. It can be done. I know scores of parents who are on the side of their children, demanding nothing in return, and therefore getting a lot. They realize that children are not little adults. When a son of ten writes home, "Dear Mommy, please send me fifty cents. Hope you are well. Love to Daddy," the par- ents smile, knowing that that is what a child of ten writes if he is sincere and not afraid to express himself. The wrong type of parent sighs at such a letter, and thinks: The selfish little beast, always asking for something. The right parents of my school never ask how their children are getting along; they see for themselves. The wrong type keep asking me impatient questions: Can he read yet? When is he ever going to be tidy? Does she ever go to lessons? It is all a matter of faith in children. Some have it; most haven't it. And if you do not have this faith, the children feel it. They feel that your love cannot be very deep, or you would trust them more. When you approve of children you can talk to them about anything and everything, for approval makes many inhibitions fly away. But the question arises, Is it possible to approve of children if you do not approve of yourself? If you are not aware of your- self, you cannot approve of yourself. In other words, the more -117- |