If your child lies, either he is afraid of you or he is copying you.
Lying parents will have lying children. If you want the truth
from your child, do not lie to him. This statement is not a moral
one, for we all lie at times. Sometimes we lie to keep from hurt-
ing someone else's feelings, and of course we lie about ourselves
when we are accused of egoism or bumptiousness. Instead of say-
ing, "Mommy has a headache; be quiet," it is much better
and more honest to shout "Stop that damned row!" But you
can only say that with impunity if your children do not fear you.

Parents lie sometimes in order to preserve their dignity.
"Daddy, you could fight six men, couldn't you?" It takes some
courage to reply, "No, my son, with my big stomach and my
flabby muscles, I couldn't fight a midget."

How many fathers will confess to their children that they
fear thunder or fear policemen? Hardly a man is big enough
not to flinch from letting his children know that he was called
"Snuffles" at school.

The family lie has two motives: to keep the child well-be-
haved, and to impress the child with parental perfection. How
many fathers and teachers would answer truthfully a child's
questions: Were you ever drunk? Did you ever swear? It is this
fear of children that makes adults hypocrites.

As a small boy, I could not forgive my father for jumping
over a wall to escape a wild bull. The children in their fan-
tasies make us heroes and knights, and we try to live up to it.
But one day, we are found out. One day, a child sees clearly
that his parents and teachers have been liars and deceivers.

Possibly in every young life comes a period when the parents

-146-